I'm publishing a poetry book!

Here's the inside scoop

This is how it feels:

I’m out here walking on all fours, animaling my way down down down to the root of feeling and being, finding the strange magic and music of ligaments and wet grass and torn toenails. Who cares about dirt?! It all washes off anyways. So, I am rolling, crawling, knees hitting the mud and hair tangling the tree branches. The green grows greener and —remember?!— I am in a rain forest, full of life full of water. Despite my sitting up straight, I am liquid. Pouring and trickling and seeping. Drink up! I’ve been filtering out the sand and snails to become a clear crystal that can quench. What do you thirst for? I don’t know if this will be it, but try. For there is always some predator, something to eat you, something thirsty for whatever juice is in your veins.

You know… vulnerable, scary, exciting, messy. But I’m doing it—I’m actually going to publish.

I read an article on AI writing this weekend (thanks, Dad). How some people will lean into their eccentricities to STAND OUT in a sea of bland, computer writing that will become more and more standardized. Like: making mistakes means you are humen. Attention split and wandering. Fingers slipping. Eyes skipping. Mind caught in the wave of what you are trying to communicate. It is a bit uplifting.

Because, I find in editing poems there is a never-ending chase. You can always change something else. Make it more this or that. Make it shorter, longer. Make it more descriptive or colder. Eventually, you just have to stop. You have to let it be finished: say it, send it, print it, and let it be what it is. And if there is a mistake, thank god! It means someone was really in there, making it from the inside out!

And I am certainly inside this book of poems.

Here’s the inside scoop: Thank the Sweet Waters came together during a season of life in which I fell in love with my now wife and married her. During our engagement, desiring to become mothers, we asked a handsome, kind man to donate sperm, and while getting to know each other better, we all fell in love. (Shit. And also, wow! so much love!) For about two years we lived into an unconventional (challenging, and often beautiful) triad relationship, dreaming of making a family and certainly growing our hearts in ways none of us expected. But, we all parted ways with heartbreak (and if you want more details, buy my book…lol), and I am now resting back into my marriage with Morgan. These poems follow the arc of love and doubt and difficult decision-making.

It’s scary to share this story explicitly, not hiding behind poetry and art where words can mean all sorts of things and “I” does not have to mean the “I” behind the keyboard. But, it is the heart of the book. Of course, the universal themes of love, heartbreak, change, challenge, doubt, and more weave and connect within it, but specificity is usually where story and art get their power and legs, and I can’t cut the legs out from under my art before it even gets to stand.

Because of the intimate nature of this collection —and because I feel that I need to birth it out into the world somewhat quickly so I can make space for a new project— I decided to work with a local, indie-publishing company. Otterpine is a woman-owned publisher right here in Asheville, and because I previously worked for them, I know the quality of their work and support for authors.

However, this choice of publishing route means I am responsible for paying for the publishing costs. I’m aiming to raise a little over $5000 through my community and artist grants to cover the cost of layout, cover design, marketing, printing, and more. I would be SO GRATEFUL if you would help me by sharing my fundraiser or donating. There is more to read on the GoFundMe page about the book, the publishers, and the process, so check it out!

Hiding behind my words while my wife tries to capture a moment.

As an emerging author, your support in reading this Substack, donating any amount to my fundraiser, and/or sharing this post and fundraiser with others helps so much. The biggest challenge for me will be getting this book out in front of people, so thanks for engaging and helping it get there!

My goal for completing edits on my manuscript is June 2nd and the book release will be sometime in the fall, so stay tuned for updates.